


Love Behind a Screen

by maebelles



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Akaashi Keiji & Kozume Kenma Friendship, Akaashi Keiji is a Mess, Akaashi is a writer, Akaashi writes poems and short stories about his love for bokuto, Alternate Universe - College/University, Bokuto Koutarou & Kuroo Tetsurou are Bros, College, Fluff, For Me, How Do I Tag, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Inspired by Real Events, Kinda, Kozume Kenma is a Good Friend, Kozume Kenma is a Little Shit, Light Angst, M/M, Not Beta Read, One-Sided Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, POV Akaashi Keiji, Self-Indulgent, Social Media, They still play volleyball, University, University Student Bokuto Koutarou, bokuto likes astrology!, but - Freeform, but not actually, i think this is okay, in highschool, just not together, mainly fluff, now its a whole ass fic, they met online, this was meant to be a drabble but oops, unedited, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:00:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24625885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maebelles/pseuds/maebelles
Summary: Now, 4 years later and I still see him in everything I do. My first year in university I joined a volleyball team. During my second year, I chose an astrology class to learn something new. I still had the astrology catalog he’d sent me on my birthday the first year we were friends sitting under my bed. Even my friends who have known me for years think I just really like fruit snacks but honestly? They stick to my teeth so I don’t like them. But everyday, without fail, when I make myself lunch I always make sure to throw in a small bag of fruit snacks.So, Koutarou, who’s last name I will never know, if you’re still out there somewhere. I’m sorry I never told you that I knew. And, I love you. I have for the last 6 years of my life.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji & Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji & Kozume Kenma, Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Bokuto Koutarou & Kuroo Tetsurou, Kozume Kenma & Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 4
Kudos: 35
Collections: My favorite haikyuu fics





	Love Behind a Screen

**Author's Note:**

> I was going through my google docs and found an old journal entry about an old best friend I lost. I never got to meet him in real life but he was amazing and we talked a lot. I miss him a lot. But! This fic is basically inspired by how we met haha. ahhh, I hope you enjoy. feedback is greatly appreciated! Thank you :)

> **“ When I first met him, it hadn’t been important. A small interaction behind two screens. But over time it became a reason to wake up in the morning. He was always exciting. He loved to rant about his volleyball games or astrology or his favorite snacks. On mornings where I woke up without his texts typed in all-caps, if I smiled a little less well, only I knew why. He quickly became a close friend of mine and always knew how to make me smile. He had helped me through so much and I just wished I could have helped him the same way.**
> 
> **I remember when he’d texted me his normal greeting but without the usual all-caps. He’d seemed down the whole time we talked but when I asked what was wrong he would always say that it was nothing. That was the last time I’d ever spoken to him. After that, I couldn't reach out to him at all. Every interaction was hidden behind a screen and every word made me fall in love with him just a little more. The pain he inflicted was unintentional but it was never the kind of pain you cry about. It's the kind of pain that you let stew about inside you, the kind of pain that sits and eats at your heart.**
> 
> **And I wanted so badly to make sure he was okay. I wanted to talk to him everyday again, to grow alongside him but when he'd said those words-although seemingly normal to anyone else-I felt a harsh tightness around my heart. The breath had been knocked out of my lungs and I felt white cold spread throughout my body. I wished there was some way for me to go back and make sure he knew I was there for him. And I wished I had just told him the truth-that I knew he wasn’t okay. And when he’d said that to me, when he’d told me that he was glad we’d never met in person. I couldn’t breathe. My hands shook and I saw white as my stomach dropped. I had known then but I was so scared that it would actually happen so I kept my thoughts to myself and just told him that I wished we had.**
> 
> **Now, 4 years later and I still see him in everything I do. My first year in university I joined a volleyball team. During my second year, I chose an astrology class to learn something new. I still had the astrology catalog he’d sent me on my birthday the first year we were friends sitting under my bed. Even my friends who have known me for years think I just really like fruit snacks but honestly? They stick to my teeth so I don’t like them. But everyday, without fail, when I make myself lunch I always make sure to throw in a small bag of fruit snacks.**
> 
> **So, Koutarou, who’s last name I will never know, if you’re still out there somewhere. I’m sorry I never told you that I knew. And, I love you. I have for the last 6 years of my life. “**
> 
> -Akaashi, Keiji
> 
> Excerpt from _Letters Never Sent_ by Tokyo Uni. student, Keiji _(Publisher: Tokyo Uni. Press)_

***

“God, I can’t believe I finally sent that in.” Kenma laughed and reached over to pat my shoulder in sympathy.

“Keiji, we both know that it was a long time coming. Besides, Tetsurou said he’d promote it if he liked it. And he probably will, so! Free publicity for you!” Kenma said with a smirk. I shook my head with a small smile and leaned back in my chair. I closed my eyes and thought about how this will help my career as an author. Especially if Tetsurou actually promotes it for me. I sighed and ran a hand through my hair.

“Speaking of, we should probably head out or we’ll be late. He said his class got out at 1 and it’s already a quarter til’.” I nod and we gather up our bags and jackets to go meet Tetsurou.

***

“Hey! Sorry we’re late,” Tetsurou apologizes as he tries to catch his breath.

“We?” I ask only to watch a man only slightly shorter than Tetsurou wave sheepishly at Kenma and I. My breath catches in my throat and I dazedly nod at the other two men.

“Oh. I didn’t know you were bringing someone with,” I comment offhandedly at Tetsurou. He only shrugs and sits down. The other man reaches his hand out in front of me and introduces himself.

“Hi, sorry for barging in on your guys’ lunch haha. I’m Koutarou, Bokuto. I’m Tetsurou’s editor.” I vaguely remember Tetsurou talking about the man before but I can’t even focus on that. _His name._ His _fucking_ name, it’s just like his. But before I can let myself think about it too much I reach out to shake his hand and offer my own name.

“Oh, no. It’s fine, really. I’m Keiji, Akaashi. It’s nice to meet you.” I smile weakly and move to pull my hand away but Koutarou tugs on it lightly.

“Woah! Who taped your hands? Cause they did it wrong.” My eyes widen in surprise and I turn to meet Tetsurou’s gaze.

“Hey! I’m still learning okay! I’ve never had to tape mine or Kenma’s fingers!” Kuroo exclaims with a look of offense. Koutarou laughs, still holding my hand in his. His hands are soft and big, I realize. I flex my fingers a bit and they brush over his wrist. His hands are really warm too. I lick my lips and watch as Koutarou settles in his seat and pulls away to open his backpack.

“Here, I’ll wrap ‘em for you. I play volleyball too. I don’t have to tape my own fingers too often but my teammates need theirs wrapped constantly,” Koutarou rambles on about his team and volleyball but I’m solely focused on the feel of his fingers removing the tape and replacing it. I glance up to peek at his face. His eyes are concentrated carefully on our hands and his eyebrows are drawn together some. I let my gaze linger on his face. His lashes are so long I can see them from across the table. And his eyes are a really bright brown, almost gold looking with how the sun filtered through the window and fell across his eyes.

When he pulls away I feel my face flush and I thank him quietly. I can’t do this. I’ve only just met this man but everything about him so far has reminded me of Koutarou, even down to his name. I close my eyes and let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding. Moving on is what normal people do, right? 

***

> **“ He is amazing. His dyed hair that's usually gelled up in a weird style is now laying flat and soft against his forehead. He continuously runs his long, slender fingers throughout his thick strands of hair. He smiles and I think I’m seeing the sun. He’s really so gorgeous. When he's upset about anything his brows crease and he tries to not let on how hurt he really is. When he speaks his low tone rumbles his chest and when he's on the phone his voice sounds even deeper. When he knows that I’m upset or gloomy he talks to me about it to make sure I'm alright and he'll hug me to make sure that I know he’s there for me. He’s really warm. I first noticed it when we shook hands upon first introduction but even now, with his hands around mine, I realize he’s really warm.**
> 
> **Koutarou. The name of a boy I thought I would never meet or truly know but here we are. Standing face to face, I remember both of our first meetings. Oh, how I’d only wished that our second first meeting was much sooner. But I would never give up those years where I found you in things I’d never tried before. Because of you I found volleyball, I found a love for the stars, and I found a love for a boy who’s whole being screamed of warmth and laughter, of good morning texts in all-caps and typos everywhere. I found a love for a boy I tried so desperately to convince myself was different but every time I looked at him I saw the faceless first love of my past. But because of you I also learned that I’m supposed to tell him what I’m thinking. And I’m glad I told you this time Koutarou.**
> 
> **So, Koutarou, who’s last name I’m proud to hold, I love you. I have for the past decade and will continue to love you until my last breath. “**
> 
> -Bokuto, Keiji
> 
> Excerpt from _I Sent It_ by Keiji _(Publisher: Kuroo Independent Authors)_

***

"Hey hey hey, baby! You ready for dinner? Kenma and Tetsurou are almost done." Koutarou wraps his arms around my waist and rests his head on my shoulder. I giggle at the ticklish feeling his breath leaves behind on my neck. I turn around in his hold and lean up to plant a kiss on his lips. I pull back with a small smile and lean my head against his chest.

“Happy birthday, Kou. I love you so much,” I whisper. I wrap my arms around his neck and fiddle with my wedding ring, a large smile dances on my husband’s face. He rests his forehead against mine and closes his eyes.

“I love you, too, Keiji. I loved the gift by the way. I forget that you’re more of a romantic than me sometimes,” Koutarou laughs and I can’t even pretend to be offended when his laugh shakes his entire being and vibrates through my body, leaving my hands feeling ticklish. I move to pull him downstairs where dinner sits with the rest of our little family. _I’m glad I found him again._

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked this and want to check out more of my work, follow my [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/smtsukki), [Twitter](https://twitter.com/smtsukki), or [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/smtsukki/?hl=en)! Thank you! Now i'm going to sleep aha


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